wordinista: (What an explanation it would be...)

So apparently all it takes is a wink-wink, nudge-nudge of a dirty joke and a little bit (okay, a lot) of innuendo to send my motivation AND work ethic straight into the toilet.

WHO KNEW?

[livejournal.com profile] tarysande I'M LOOKING IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION.
wordinista: (Alistair king shield)
You glance down at what's playing on Pandora, and instead of seeing "March for Orchestra in F Major," you see "March for Orlesians in F Major."

Ol' Amadeus got around I guess...
wordinista: (Caffeine <3)

It's not even 8 AM yet, I slept like total ass, have to clean the house today, and yet...

I feel like firing up Rock Band 2 and singing myself hoarse.

Amy Lee just sort of does that to me.  And I have had "Broken" in my head since yesterday, and I know that's not available on the RB marketplace, but I have other stuff I can sing along with and...

Yep.  I see me doing this. 

And I haven't even had any caffeine yet this morning.  Weird.

wordinista: (Chocolate is a vegetable)

Because he will Tweet at me even when we are SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN A DOCTOR'S WAITING ROOM.

Behold:

The following Twitter conversation came from [info]nilla  linking us to this.


w0rdinista: That one's part of the line his ins. does cover-- I think he should pick Twilight Purple!!1! ...Do you think it sparkles, too~?

cyfon@w0rdinista ohhhhhh sparkles!
w0rdinista@cyfon You can name your meter Edward and it will suck up your sweet, delicious blood!
cyfon@w0rdinista oh...ew. No.
w0rdinista@cyfon .......Yeah, that is kind of disturbing and wrong, isn't it?
cyfon@w0rdinista I need the manliest one we can find now. Comes with hatchet to remove digits for blood tests.
w0rdinista@cyfon And instead of beeping at you, it grunts?
cyfon@w0rdinista and tells yo mama jokes.

I love my hubby. Verreh much.



 

wordinista: (Drastic times call for drastic measures)
Surgery: Six days and counting.  My handwriting has really, really gone to crap lately.  Wow.  Granted, pretty soon it won't matter, as I won't even be able to hold a pen.

And in other news I discovered a maple flavored black tea that has made me reconsider my opinion on flavored black teas. 

And in other OTHER news, I would like very much for this paper to magically write itself.





... What?  A girl can dream!

Oh!  And in other other OTHER news:  TORA-KUN FINALLY FOUND HIS WEDDING RING THAT HAS BEEN LOST FOR SEVERAL MONTHS NOW.  THE LOST WEDDING RING THAT I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS HIM FOR BEING A BONEHEAD AND LOSING HIS WEDDING RING.

(ilu honey)
wordinista: (Piracy!)
Dear Bunneh,

While we, as a group, understand and appreciate your newfound zeal to give the finger to Metabolism, and Ass and Waist are totally on-board with this endeavor, a few of us feel the need to speak up.

You don't even LIKE celery. The Teeth are bitching about the damn strings caught between them, Stomach has no idea what to make of that particular deposit, and we're all pretty sure you've given Tongue and Tastebuds a case of PTSD. Chop it up in tuna-salad if you must, but don't you dare attempt to eat it straight, ever again, or there will be consequences. The Commonwealth of Girlbits are particularly distraught; they've been sending you very clear signals for chocolate and salt, which you are steadfastly ignoring, which is really just pissing them off.

We demand two (2) oatmeal cookies and one (1) cup of English Breakfast tea with milk, tyvm. You know how Brain gets when the rest of us are cranky, and do you really want to start the taxes under less than ideal conditions? We thought not.

Hand over the sugar and the caffeine and no one gets hurt.

Love and Kisses,
Your Body
wordinista: (Up to no good)

Okay, so I mentioned that I'd gotten back in touch with my BFF from junior high school.  Well, as it happens, tonight I was in my Compensation Management class (which is EASILY the worst, most boring, least organized class I've ever taken), and was text-messaging her during the (veryboring) lecture.

And then it hit me.

Twenty years later, and I'm still sitting in the back of the class, passing notes.

I have grown up, but not matured.

SUCCESS!!!
wordinista: (Bunnicula)

DO WANT.
wordinista: (Year of the Rabbit)
"Oh, my god, it's like cutting chicken with a light saber."

--Tora-kun

BEST KNIFE EVER OMG.

...



I'm such a food geek, sob.
wordinista: (The things I put up with...)

Okay, so remember my phantom cicadas?  That seemed to be coming from our sound system speakers?

Yeah.  Those cicadas.

AS IT TURNS OUT, THEY WERE CICADAS.  See, because Tora-kun is Mr. Tech Geek Extraordinaire, our whole entertainment system runs through a computer.  So, like, we download TV shows from iTunes, and watch them... on TV. 

Tora-kun installed Weatherbug on the computer.  Weatherbug has a feature that will notify you of "extreme weather" with an alarm.  Tora-kun has this feature enabled.  AND GUESS WHAT THE ALARM SOUNDS LIKE?

IF YOU GUESSED "CICADAS," GIVE YOURSELF A COOKIE.

*facepalm*

This reminds me of the time, years ago, that he set his mail notification sound to "Mail, motherfucker!" (if you've seen "Euro Trip," then you know the line). 

His mail checked every five minutes.

He got mail every five minutes.

EVERY FIVE MINUTES, I HEARD, WITHOUT FAIL:  "MAIL, MOTHERFUCKER!"

And he wondered why his computer speakers were always turned off by the time he got home.
wordinista: (Happy Asta)
This made me laugh harder than I have in a week:

Bad day? CLICK AND READ.
wordinista: (Up to no good)
There is no one else -- no one else -- with whom I could have a conversation including the following three things at the same time:

"Bloodletting," by Concrete Blonde.

"The Teddy Bears Picnic"

and...

The vampire Pomeranian from Blade Trinity.

Cut for HILARITY. (And isn't that a nice change?) )
Bunneh: .asdjlfka;sdla;lsjdf;alskdjf
Evvie: :D?
Bunneh: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Evvie: a picnic OF YOUR BLOOD
Bunneh: that image. is now. burned. in my mind.
Evvie: okay, I can't make myself laugh or they'll think I've lost my mind back here.:Dbd
Bunneh: NO ONE CARES IF I'M CRAZY HERE.
Evvie: now I'm thinking of the vamp Pom from Blade Trinity
Bunneh: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Evvie: XD must... not... write... lyrics
Bunneh: ...........
Evvie: XD
"If you go down to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise/ if you go down to the woods today, you'd better go in disguise"
"For every bear that ever there was/ Is gathered there for certain because/ Tonight's the night vampire bears have a picniiiiIIIIIIEEEEEEEEERGH"
Bunneh: ;FA;LSDK <3
Evvie: [is giggling again]

Also, just because it is by far the best news I have today: I saw Bronte EATING today. \o/
wordinista: (Erika & Largo)
We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind;

'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance,

Well they're no friends of mine~~
wordinista: (Shigure OHNOES!!1)
Because I should be doing other things...

Dear Advanced Finance Midterm:

I hate you.  Plzdie.

Love and Kisses,
Niamh

***

Dear Tora-kun's aunt,

You win at awesome.  You are one of the most tactful, classiest people I've ever had the pleasure to know, and I hereby vow to get to know you better, because you rock just that much.

Love and Kisses,
Niamh

***

Dear Self,

Nine hours of sleep is more than adequate to focus on the midterm.  Rein in the wandering attention span and get this thing finished.  You are not tired, and you are not laying one finger on Furuba volume 13 until this midterm is finished.  AND you haven't even started on the centerpieces.  And do I even need to mention that you've got some cleaning to do around here?  I know you cleaned house last week.  Guess what?  You have to do it again!

Quit procrastinating,
Me

***

Dear OGAM, Bump, and Extracurricular II muses,

STFU.  RIGHT NOW.  I'M WORKING.  STOPPITDANGIT.  STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. YOU DIDN'T SAY A WORD WHEN I WAS READY AND WILLING AND ABLE TO WRITE, AND BECAUSE OF THAT YOU WAIVE ANY RIGHT TO START GIVING ME INSPIRATION NOW.

NO LOVE, YOU SADISTIC BASTARDS (especially you, Extracurricular II -- you evil bitch),
Niamh

***

Dear UT muses,

The above does not apply to you.  Anytime y'all want to start talking to me again, I'm all ears, midterm or no.

Love and Kisses,
Niamh
wordinista: (teles)
Because the printer isn't working (can't make stencils, argh) and I don't feel like working on my midterm just yet (argh), and I still don't have the dimensions for the tables in the clubhouse (ergo cannot tell caterer what size tablecloths to bring, argh), and "slightly irregular" should not mean "looks like it was splashed with bleach" kthx (argh) the following was ganked from [livejournal.com profile] saya415, because, frankly, I need the giggles right now:

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your LJ and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

wordinista: (Up to no good)
I'm presently wiping tears of laughter from my eyes and decided it was imperative to share the mirth.

If you have a sense of humor, you should read this. If you have pets, you will enjoy it. If you have (a) cat(s), you will adore it. If the cat (or one of them) is fat, you'd better put down whatever you're drinking and proceed with caution.

And, hey, why not a little more?

Oh, my god.  I couldn't breathe for laughing.  I was wheezing.  I nearly spewed coffee through my nose -- THREE TIMES.

Tomato Nation is Love.
wordinista: (Oxford)

There are few things as amusing as telling the Jehovah's Witnesses that have come to the door that your adorable and friendly puppy's name is "Darwin," and then watch as they blink at you and laugh in nervous, but polite surprise.

(I then went into detail about how "Darwin" is also one of the capital cities in Australia, AND how some breeders will put a pup down for a mismark, and given those two things, it seemed a very apropos name. I think we talked more about Aussies than we did about religion.)

I sent in his AKC paperwork yesterday.  His official "pedigree name" is "Lazy L's Darwinian Selection."  (And he's totally getting a little AKC tag with his registration number on it, because I'm a dork and signed him up for their "lifetime lost and found" program.)

And in crate-training news, we had a piddle accident in the crate this morning.  :(  He had room enough to go to one corner and piddle, which may mean I need to adjust the crate again.  I did that, and I'm also thinking about setting an alarm for 4 hours into the night, so he can get a little potty break.  This will also allow me to get a little more sleep, though broken into segments.  I know he can do a five hour stretch in there with no problems.  It's that sixth hour that's tripping him up, poor little guy.

wordinista: (Shiku~!)
I don't expect 90% of the people on my f-list to understand what kind of crack I'm on right now, so please just smile and nod at the crazy person.

Long story short, last year [livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy made a voice post of Chibi-Chuu (her minion, supplied by the talented [livejournal.com profile] miyun) singing "O Holy Night." I thought it was the cutest thing evar, and told her so, profusely. This year, [livejournal.com profile] saya415 was trying to get her to make another Chibi-Chuu voice post. I joined in the cajoling.

The following exchange occurred Thursday night:

[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:46:01 PM): I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Liz.
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:46:08 PM): There must be another Chibi Chuu Carol!
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:47:25 PM): HEY!
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:47:32 PM): you aren't supposed to agree!
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:47:37 PM): I know! But I do!
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:50:39 PM): *sticks out tongue*
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:50:42 PM): don't give her ideas
[...]
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:51:49 PM): Shiku-chan would love Chibi-Chuu forever if he did another carol this year. :D
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:53:11 PM): .... stop that
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:53:25 PM): forever and ever and everrrrr~~
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:54:09 PM): *sly look* What about you?
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:54:19 PM): What about me?
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:55:54 PM): why don't YOU sing?
[...]
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:56:56 PM): Why don't I sing?
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:57:05 PM): ....There's an excellent reason why I don't.
[livejournal.com profile] niamh_sama(11:57:13 PM): And once I think of it, I'll tell you.
[livejournal.com profile] evilpuppy(11:59:56 PM): once you think of an excellent reason, I'll start listening for requests

....Suffice to say, I couldn't think of an "excellent reason." So after convincing Shiku-chan (another minion supplied by the aforementioned talented [livejournal.com profile] miyun and shown in this post's icon) that "Let's Get it On" is not an appropriate Christmas carol, and several tries with crappy cell-phone staticky results, allow me to present Shiku-chan's gift to Chibi-Chuu:



PS: So, Puppy, where do we sign up for requests? I myself am rather fond of "What Child is This?" and "White Christmas."
wordinista: (PDBW: Facility for quotation...)
Dear Chai:

Thank you for being so yummy and spicy and milky and yum. The world is better with you in it.

Love and Kisses,
Bunneh

***

Dear Baking Powder in my Cupboard:

You're a lying h0r.  You were supposed to keep until MAY, bitch.  I went through TWO spice cakes because of you, thinking that I somehow screwed up the folding of egg-whites into the rest of the batter.  I went through the recipe TWICE, and have decided it's YOUR fault.  Do you have any idea how many eggs I wasted?  Do you really think this is going to deter me?  Hells no.  I'm replacing your less-than-fresh self and making that damned thing again.  I just need another orange and some more dark brown sugar.  You will not win, do you hear me?!  I WILL PREVAIL.

Love and Kisses,
Bunneh

***

Dear Steve Madden,

Your fuzzy slippers roxxor5.  Why do you make them so hard to find?

Love and Kisses,
Bunneh

***

Dear Body,

It's only 8:20.  You don't really want to go to bed.  It's an illusion.  You'll feel better after more chai.

Love and Kisses,
Bunneh
wordinista: (Horny Shigure credit ushitora_icons)
My vegetable love should grow,
Vaster than empires and more slow...

Marvell, "To His Coy Mistress"

And this is why Mama Panther inspires me to poetry...

Because she brings out the perv in me. XD

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