Well... maybe you could test-drive the collar? Try it out, see how he responds, see if you sit on the couch and weep with guilt for hours after? What do I know about dogs, anyway?

Which indulgent smile? This one? Or this one?

Bah, I'd tell you if it weren't good. And because I love you I'd even be gentle about it, and not take perverse pleasure in denouncing you and your little dog book too.