Ah, man, Niamh-dear, you sound like you're in a tough place. Going into business for yourself *is* a hugely scary process (I know, I contemplated it myself when I left my high-tech job last summer, and ultimately decided against it because I wasn't comfortable with the amount of financial risk).

I'm not surprised you aren't writing right now. Creative endeavors require some measure of serenity (or at least they do for me), and I also find myself unable to write when most of my brain's CPU cycles are consumed with fretting and worrying and stressing.

Give yourself some time to mourn the job you didn't get. It'll get better in time, I promise.