Tell me about it. I mentioned the mats to the guy, and he was like, "Yeah, that just sort of happens -- he jumps into the pool and then gets out and rolls around, and it mats up, especially around the collar."

Uh. Then fucking brush your dog more often than, oh, never? I am familiar with mats. Darwin gets them on his ears and his "britches" (the fur on the backs of his legs -- it's very long and coarse). He gets mats because Sydney chews on him. And guess what? The mats are manageable because I brush him about once a week! THEY DO NOT GROW TO BE THE SIZE OF A DIME OR NICKEL OVERNIGHT.

And I am not even going to start on the part where he has two intact male dogs. WTF, spay and neuter, asshole.