I am speechless

[wordinista]

So, apparently, if you're Nicole Richie, you too can get published by writing bad Mary-Sue origi-fic at an eighth-grade level.

Seriously -- it's the new queen of published bad!fic, and now features prominently in my own personal hell -- right alongside Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt.

Nicole Richie got published.  PUBLISHED.  She wrote a book.  (I'm half-surprised she can read.)

And here's the funny part -- apparently she features as a character in the book as well. 

There are no words.

Comments

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Liek, OMG, do you think Paris totally beta-read for her?

[nilla.livejournal.com]

No. That'd mean she'd have to take off 5 years from boozing, drinking, and whoring to do so... Since, you know, she only reads and writes at a kindergarten level. Ah the joy of being born into old money. Means you can be as stupid as you want to be and not have to worry about the consequences.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

...only reads and writes at a kindergarten level...

I dunno; that may explain it. The blind leading the blind down the road to literary noteriety.

Paris: OMG! Liek, Chloe wears LA Gear? I never wore LA Gear!
Nicole: You so did!
Paris: Did not!
Nicole: Did!

*2 hours pass*

Paris: Did not!
Nicole: Did!

*later...*

Paris: So, like, am I Chloe? Or is Chloe you? Or is it, like, both of us?
Nicole: Chloe is me. Like, it's MY book. Write your OWN book.
Paris: But, like, how can Chloe be YOU? YOU'RE already IN the book!
Nicole: Tcha! That's so no one will KNOW!
Paris: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Nicole: *looks omg smug*
Paris: *looks omg confused*

*later...*

Paris: *still looks confused* So, like, you're Chloe.
Nicole: Right.
Paris: But Nicole's in the book.
Nicole: Right.
Paris: But you're Nicole.
Nicole: Right.
Paris: ....I'm so confused. Why didn't you tell me your name is Chloe?

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

Nononono, darling. The blonde leading the blonde.

XD

Don't you think confused is too many syllables for Paris? ;)

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Well, considering that "champagne" has two syllables, as does "cocaine," she can probably handle "confused."