After finally seeing it, I feel comfortable saying...

[wordinista]

That there are not words strong enough to convey my complete, boundless, and utter dislike of the most recent Pride and Prejudice movie.  I think it is quite fair to say that I hated it with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and have never spent so much time yelling at the television screen.

In sum, I say this:  There is only one Darcy, and Colin Firth is his name.  Forever and ever, amen.

I now wonder why all those Austenites wasted their breath kvetching about the costumes.  The story, the characterizations... there were a lot more bitchworthy complaints than costuming.

I am awash with WTF. 

That is all.

Comments

[dawnsama.livejournal.com]

New!Darcy was definitely a disappointment. I mean, sullen is one thing, but stonelike? I actually thought Keira Knightly wasn't bad as Lizzy, although she giggled rather randomly.

I hated the way they played out the end.

Lizzy- "I couldn't sleep!"

Darcy- "Neither could I, so i walked all the friggin way from Netherfield in my bedclothes (because what's manlier than bedclothes?) and in the dark. Wow, it's a good thing I ran into you here because I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't. Maybe thrown rocks at your window or something."

Not to mention the "Mrs. Darcy" thing in the last scene.

*facepalm*

I know there's a different ending for the European release, but since I haven't seen it, I feel free to gripe about the ending. Way to Hollywoodize a classic, jeez.

[jazzy-fay.livejournal.com]

From what I've heard, the European version just ended with Mr. Bennet grinning after Lizzie left his study. They were apparently spared "Mrs. Darcy".

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Because, as Americans, we must like schmaltz. I was yelling at the screen the whole while: "END! END! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST END ALREADY!"

It is such a good thing I didn't go see this in the theatre. I would've been kicked out.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Darcy- "Neither could I, so i walked all the friggin way from Netherfield in my bedclothes (because what's manlier than bedclothes?) and in the dark. Wow, it's a good thing I ran into you here because I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't. Maybe thrown rocks at your window or something."

Lizzy: ...Are you stalking me?

Darcy: Certainly not.

Lizzy: Because, you know, I'm out here, and it's early, and I didn't tell anyone I was going, and then here YOU come all Heathcliffian--

Darcy: Heath-who?

Lizzy: Nevermind. Here you come all Broody McBrooderson-pants, and it's kind of like a whole deus ex machina thing, except more like "broody ex machina" and I'm thinking the only way I could explain your appearance here is if you were actually, I don't know, spying on me or something.

Darcy: Of course not! And have I mentioned that you have fine eyes?

Lizzy: Not in this version. And don't change the subject. --Hey, is that a telescope you've got behind your back?

Darcy: *hides something behind his back* No!

And then Captain Jack Sparrow would saunter jauntily through the meadow, because, really, that would be easier to explain than THIS.

Jack: *swipes Darcy's telescope* Thanks, mate -- been lookin' for this! *grabs Lizzy and drags her off into the fog-laced moors* C'mon luv. Will's waitin'.

Darcy: *broods*

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

*keywords at you*

And then Captain Jack Sparrow would saunter jauntily through the meadow, because, really, that would be easier to explain than THIS.

See, I would've paid real money for that to happen. Also for Cap'n Jack to knee Not!Darcy in the nadgers. Just because.

(WTF, middle of the night? In his bedclothes? But... propriety! Standards! What the hell?!)

How sad is it when that montage of fully-clothed frenetic letter-writing Darcy is infinitely hotter than middle-of-the-night bedclothes-wearing Darcy?

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

No! It was the sexy pre-dawn fog! And his coat was BILLOWING. Honestly, I didn't know if he was Darcy or Angel.

I am SO watching P&P (the REAL P&P) on Wednesday. Provided Charity doesn't, you know, pop in the interim.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_midoriko_sama_/]

"broody ex machina"

I hereby ask your permission to turn that into a t-shirt, my mistress.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

I expect that Keira brought a certain level of competence to the role because she is a good actress; I quite liked her in Bend It Like Beckham and Pirates of the Caribbean. But she's always seemed to be rather a sulty type to me, all sloe-eyes and sex appeal. Which is fine, but not, to me, what Lizzie needs. Somebody a little more effervescent would've been a better choice, I think.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she was a bit too... pouty for my taste. I mean, she's a GOOD actress, but she's just not Lizzy. Not sure WHO I'd choose, though. That's a tough one.