After finally seeing it, I feel comfortable saying...

[wordinista]

That there are not words strong enough to convey my complete, boundless, and utter dislike of the most recent Pride and Prejudice movie.  I think it is quite fair to say that I hated it with the passion of a thousand burning suns, and have never spent so much time yelling at the television screen.

In sum, I say this:  There is only one Darcy, and Colin Firth is his name.  Forever and ever, amen.

I now wonder why all those Austenites wasted their breath kvetching about the costumes.  The story, the characterizations... there were a lot more bitchworthy complaints than costuming.

I am awash with WTF. 

That is all.

Comments

[queenofthecute.livejournal.com]

There is only one Darcy, and Colin Firth is his name. Forever and ever, amen.

Praise be to God.

Actually, I haven't seen this new film, but I was rather put out when I heard that they were making one. I mean, why bother when you already have a spot-on piece of perfection? And as much as I don't hate Kiera Knightly, she certainly isn't Elizabeth Bennet in any sense.

So, is it worth seeing so that I can join in on the complaining, or should I protect my retinas and skip it altogether?

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

And as much as I don't hate Kiera Knightly, she certainly isn't Elizabeth Bennet in any sense.

No, I don't hate Keira Knightley either -- not at all. I loved her in PotC, and King Arthur. I really like her, just not as Lizzy. If I may quote Evvie in an email, she got it spot-on when she said: "Frankly, I don't think Keira's good for Lizzie because she's more liable to slink than sparkle, if you follow me." She's a very sullen Elizabeth -- there's no element of fun, no teasing in her demeanor.

And Darcy is one single note throughout: brooding. Oy vey. There's one moment, in the BBC miniseries, when Elizabeth and Darcy are dancing at the Netherfield ball, when they're talking for a bit, and you see Elizabeth tease him a little for not talking while they dance, and, gradually, she brings up the topic of Wickham (who is reduced to a bare footnote in the flick), and you SEE Darcy get angry. You don't see any real difference in the MovieDarcy's reaction here-- it's all the same.

And Bingley. Lawd. He comes across as a doofus. He's not cute or charming in his awkwardness -- he's just kind of annoying and a little embarrassing.

I saw the movie because when it came out in the theatres, I had a LOT of people tell me I had no right to air my opinions on a film I hadn't seen yet. There were a number of times through watching the DVD that I wanted to stop the film altogether.

Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm too close to P&P and have lost my objectivity. But I seriously did NOT like it.

That said, it would be nice to have someone with whom I can complain. :)

(OMG you so need to do some P&P art.)

[littleduchess.livejournal.com]

Colin Firth is the only one. I saw the trailer for the latest film version and immediately decided against seeing it on the basis that Mr. Darcy looked too ugly, too wimpy. And Jennifer Ehle (I believe) really did bring out the playful aspect of Elizabeth's character. You felt for them as you felt for the characters.
I cannot bring myself to feel and anticipate for the girl from Pirates of the Carribean in that way.
I haven't seen it and I won't see it. There is only one adaptation for me.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Yeah, after seeing the trailer, I said outright that I had no plans on seeing it in the theatre. I probably would have been quite content not to see it at all, but a few people (mostly on fandom_wank) accused me of being small minded and unimaginative for stating flat out that I wouldn't see it. So, because I am an open-minded person, and felt there was a possibility that I would be pleasantly surprised, I put it in our Netflix queue.

I have never been so glad that I did not purchase a movie.

The pacing in the theatric version was too hectic -- you don't care about any of the characters! You don't really get to KNOW Lydia, and so you really don't care when it comes out that she ran away. You don't CARE about any of them, Elizabeth included and...

...

I just realized they cut out one of my favorite parts of the novel! The bit where Darcy tells Caroline he's meditating on the virtues of a set of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman, and then LATER, when Lizzy shows up all muddy from her walk to Netherfield, Caroline's all, "And what do you think of her 'fine eyes' now?" And Darcy's all, "They were made brighter by the exercise."

*cry*

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

But the brilliant thing about that rejoinder is that it's a total slap to Caroline who's being such a h0r about Lizzie walking all that way, and by that point you kind of hate Caroline anyway. It would've been worse if they'd left it in and you were all, "Wait, who's this catty bitch he's talking to?"

Er. And by "you" I mean the general viewing audience. Clearly you'd know who that catty bitch was.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

They COULD have left it in, though. But, no. No, they'd rather just strangle the life and charm and, let's face it, the Austen out of the movie.

It makes me so sad that so many people LIKED the movie.

[dawnsama.livejournal.com]

New!Darcy was definitely a disappointment. I mean, sullen is one thing, but stonelike? I actually thought Keira Knightly wasn't bad as Lizzy, although she giggled rather randomly.

I hated the way they played out the end.

Lizzy- "I couldn't sleep!"

Darcy- "Neither could I, so i walked all the friggin way from Netherfield in my bedclothes (because what's manlier than bedclothes?) and in the dark. Wow, it's a good thing I ran into you here because I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't. Maybe thrown rocks at your window or something."

Not to mention the "Mrs. Darcy" thing in the last scene.

*facepalm*

I know there's a different ending for the European release, but since I haven't seen it, I feel free to gripe about the ending. Way to Hollywoodize a classic, jeez.

[jazzy-fay.livejournal.com]

From what I've heard, the European version just ended with Mr. Bennet grinning after Lizzie left his study. They were apparently spared "Mrs. Darcy".

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Because, as Americans, we must like schmaltz. I was yelling at the screen the whole while: "END! END! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST END ALREADY!"

It is such a good thing I didn't go see this in the theatre. I would've been kicked out.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Darcy- "Neither could I, so i walked all the friggin way from Netherfield in my bedclothes (because what's manlier than bedclothes?) and in the dark. Wow, it's a good thing I ran into you here because I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't. Maybe thrown rocks at your window or something."

Lizzy: ...Are you stalking me?

Darcy: Certainly not.

Lizzy: Because, you know, I'm out here, and it's early, and I didn't tell anyone I was going, and then here YOU come all Heathcliffian--

Darcy: Heath-who?

Lizzy: Nevermind. Here you come all Broody McBrooderson-pants, and it's kind of like a whole deus ex machina thing, except more like "broody ex machina" and I'm thinking the only way I could explain your appearance here is if you were actually, I don't know, spying on me or something.

Darcy: Of course not! And have I mentioned that you have fine eyes?

Lizzy: Not in this version. And don't change the subject. --Hey, is that a telescope you've got behind your back?

Darcy: *hides something behind his back* No!

And then Captain Jack Sparrow would saunter jauntily through the meadow, because, really, that would be easier to explain than THIS.

Jack: *swipes Darcy's telescope* Thanks, mate -- been lookin' for this! *grabs Lizzy and drags her off into the fog-laced moors* C'mon luv. Will's waitin'.

Darcy: *broods*

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

*keywords at you*

And then Captain Jack Sparrow would saunter jauntily through the meadow, because, really, that would be easier to explain than THIS.

See, I would've paid real money for that to happen. Also for Cap'n Jack to knee Not!Darcy in the nadgers. Just because.

(WTF, middle of the night? In his bedclothes? But... propriety! Standards! What the hell?!)

How sad is it when that montage of fully-clothed frenetic letter-writing Darcy is infinitely hotter than middle-of-the-night bedclothes-wearing Darcy?

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

No! It was the sexy pre-dawn fog! And his coat was BILLOWING. Honestly, I didn't know if he was Darcy or Angel.

I am SO watching P&P (the REAL P&P) on Wednesday. Provided Charity doesn't, you know, pop in the interim.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_midoriko_sama_/]

"broody ex machina"

I hereby ask your permission to turn that into a t-shirt, my mistress.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

I expect that Keira brought a certain level of competence to the role because she is a good actress; I quite liked her in Bend It Like Beckham and Pirates of the Caribbean. But she's always seemed to be rather a sulty type to me, all sloe-eyes and sex appeal. Which is fine, but not, to me, what Lizzie needs. Somebody a little more effervescent would've been a better choice, I think.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Yeah, she was a bit too... pouty for my taste. I mean, she's a GOOD actress, but she's just not Lizzy. Not sure WHO I'd choose, though. That's a tough one.

[leilani-kw.livejournal.com]

I admit I haven't watched it. Yet. I Netflixed it and its still sitting on my desk but I just can't seem to bring myself to watch it. I think P&P2 is just about perfect (though I do think the Gardiners should have been at least 10 years younger than they were cast) so I've been telling myself to think about the new version as glorified fanfiction but even that isn't helping me work up the necessary enthusiasm.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm on board with you. I really didn't want to see it, but kind of felt like I should watch it. It's going back into the Netflix envelope tonight and into the mailbox. It's ... disappointing, unfortunately. I wanted it to be better than it was.

I do believe that Wednesday, I will be watching the BBC P&P. Yes, I require my RDA of Firth. ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_midoriko_sama_/]

This sounds like me when I went to watch the Lord of the Rings movies. I feel for you completely. (They didn't throw me out of the cinema, I left half way through. However, I suspect that had I suddenly stood up and spoken mind mind to the Directer and Film Making in general at that point, that might have changed.)