PRIEST: The penalty for breaking your sacred oath? Well, the different traditions say different things. Most Protestants say you'd burn in hell. Catholics say you burn in Purgatory.
MIROKU: Purgatory, now what's that like?
SANGO: Miroku!!
MIROKU: Maybe later! Yeah. "Forsaking all others," I do!
PRIEST: Great. Then by the power vested in me by poetic license--
SANGO: About time!
MIROKU: I'm sorry, honey.
PRIEST: --I now pronounce you married already.
(later)
INUYASHA: (holding champagne glass that Kagome's filled with ginger ale because she's not taking any chances) Er... WhaddoIdo?
KAGOME: You give the toast!
INUYASHA: But I don't have any toast and if I did I'd eat it myself.
KAGOME: Just say something nice about Miroku and Sango. Then you drink and sit down.
INUYASHA: Right. (louder) Everyone! These guys once dug six shikon fragments out of a puke demon's ass so that I wouldn't have to. (chugs) How's that?
KAGOME: Whatever. (stands up) When I first met Miroku, I thought he was a perverted monk who could never fall in love even if it hit him over the head with an oversized boomerang until he had three cranial fractures and a permanent facial tick--
MIROKU: (twitches)
KAGOME: --but I was wrong! Miroku and Sango blah blah blah.
INUYASHA: (low voice) How long is she going to be at this? I want to eat something!
SHIPPO: Inuyasha, that's why Kagome made us eat ramen before the ceremony! You're hungry again already?
INUYASHA: YES!!
(at another table)
TELES: (to Sesshoumaru) I just checked with the babysitter. She says that Kentaro has chewed up five teddy bears, destroyed his crib and terrified the other children.
SESSHOU: That's my boy.
TELES: I'm serious. We may need to pay for the damages and the exchange rate with the modern jidai isn't good right now.
(across the room)
KOHAKU: And I know they'll be happy! (sips and sits down)
INUYASHA: Great! Let's eat!
HOJO: (stands up) I'd like to say a few words.
INUYASHA: Dammit!
MIROKU: Go ahead, Hojo. Sango and I will be doing some very interesting things later, so I'm feeling rather benevolent right now. (hand gropes)
SANGO: (hits him)
MIROKU: What? We're married! I'm allowed now.
SANGO: Not in public, pervert!
MIROKU: I don't remember that being part of the deal.
HOJO: ANYway. Hello, everyone, I'm the reincarnation of Miroku's mentor, Mushin. Ordinarily Miroku's parents would be giving this part of the toast, but they couldn't be here today on account of his dad being consumed by an inexorable demonic curse and his mom being a random truck stop harlot from Edo who couldn't get off work.
MIROKU: (chokes) Whaaaaaaaat?
HOJO: Oh, God, I'm sorry, man. I thought you already kn--
INUYASHA: (slugs him)
HOJO: (keels over)
MIROKU: Thanks, Inuyasha.
INUYASHA: You're welcome. Can we eat now?
(later)
KOHAKU: (dances with Rin)
TELES: (sighs) They grow up so fast. How long before our little Kentaro is thanking his best man for punching someone out at his wedding toast?
Why do tomorrow what you could never do? How she loved you.
PRIEST: "Forsaking all others."
MIROKU: . . .
SANGO: (glares)
MIROKU: Riiiiight... About that... What's the--
PRIEST: The penalty for breaking your sacred oath? Well, the different traditions say different things. Most Protestants say you'd burn in hell. Catholics say you burn in Purgatory.
MIROKU: Purgatory, now what's that like?
SANGO: Miroku!!
MIROKU: Maybe later! Yeah. "Forsaking all others," I do!
PRIEST: Great. Then by the power vested in me by poetic license--
SANGO: About time!
MIROKU: I'm sorry, honey.
PRIEST: --I now pronounce you married already.
(later)
INUYASHA: (holding champagne glass that Kagome's filled with ginger ale because she's not taking any chances) Er... WhaddoIdo?
KAGOME: You give the toast!
INUYASHA: But I don't have any toast and if I did I'd eat it myself.
KAGOME: Just say something nice about Miroku and Sango. Then you drink and sit down.
INUYASHA: Right. (louder) Everyone! These guys once dug six shikon fragments out of a puke demon's ass so that I wouldn't have to. (chugs) How's that?
KAGOME: Whatever. (stands up) When I first met Miroku, I thought he was a perverted monk who could never fall in love even if it hit him over the head with an oversized boomerang until he had three cranial fractures and a permanent facial tick--
MIROKU: (twitches)
KAGOME: --but I was wrong! Miroku and Sango blah blah blah.
INUYASHA: (low voice) How long is she going to be at this? I want to eat something!
SHIPPO: Inuyasha, that's why Kagome made us eat ramen before the ceremony! You're hungry again already?
INUYASHA: YES!!
(at another table)
TELES: (to Sesshoumaru) I just checked with the babysitter. She says that Kentaro has chewed up five teddy bears, destroyed his crib and terrified the other children.
SESSHOU: That's my boy.
TELES: I'm serious. We may need to pay for the damages and the exchange rate with the modern jidai isn't good right now.
(across the room)
KOHAKU: And I know they'll be happy! (sips and sits down)
INUYASHA: Great! Let's eat!
HOJO: (stands up) I'd like to say a few words.
INUYASHA: Dammit!
MIROKU: Go ahead, Hojo. Sango and I will be doing some very interesting things later, so I'm feeling rather benevolent right now. (hand gropes)
SANGO: (hits him)
MIROKU: What? We're married! I'm allowed now.
SANGO: Not in public, pervert!
MIROKU: I don't remember that being part of the deal.
HOJO: ANYway. Hello, everyone, I'm the reincarnation of Miroku's mentor, Mushin. Ordinarily Miroku's parents would be giving this part of the toast, but they couldn't be here today on account of his dad being consumed by an inexorable demonic curse and his mom being a random truck stop harlot from Edo who couldn't get off work.
MIROKU: (chokes) Whaaaaaaaat?
HOJO: Oh, God, I'm sorry, man. I thought you already kn--
INUYASHA: (slugs him)
HOJO: (keels over)
MIROKU: Thanks, Inuyasha.
INUYASHA: You're welcome. Can we eat now?
(later)
KOHAKU: (dances with Rin)
TELES: (sighs) They grow up so fast. How long before our little Kentaro is thanking his best man for punching someone out at his wedding toast?
SESSHOUMARU: Hopefully time immemorial.