wordinista (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wordinista) wrote2007-09-25 11:58 am
wordinista) wrote2007-09-25 11:58 am
Think good thoughts
Took Bronte to the vet's today. They took more blood and will call this afternoon. We'll see what happens after that.
I have had one good cry already. Might make it two.
Please, guys. Tell me something happy. A funny story, a silly drabble, a joke, something. I need to get the positive vibes going, because I'm kind of tired of crying.
I have had one good cry already. Might make it two.
Please, guys. Tell me something happy. A funny story, a silly drabble, a joke, something. I need to get the positive vibes going, because I'm kind of tired of crying.
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Um. Funny story.
Argh. Don't fail me, funny story repository!
Well, how about this?
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TELES: (in formalwear) Sesshoumaru! Show yourself this instant!
SESSHOU: (voice muffled) No!
RIN: (in formalwear) Rin saw Sesshoumaru-sama hide in the laundry closet.
TELES: Thank you, my dear. (Opens closet door)
(SESSHOU tumbles out, covered in washcloths)
SESSHOU: (to Rin) Traitorous child.
RIN: (smiling) Teles has been teaching Rin!
SESSHOU: I should have protected her from your malicious influence, my love.
TELES: Another day, perhaps. (holds up tuxedo) You will get dressed at once. We will be late!
SESSHOU: I will not wear that foolish garment!
TELES: I think we both know what happened the last time you said that to me.
BOTAN (from Yu Yu Hakusho): (sticks head in) For those of you who don't remember, Sesshoumaru said nearly that same line in reference to a Sephiroth costume that Teles wished to purchase from an unnamed narrator who had obtained it from the set of Final Fantasy VII by dubious means, compelled Youko Kurama to wear it and posted the pictures on foxy-bish.net! (disappears)
SESSHOU: But they never showed me wearing it.
BOTAN: (sticks head back in) No, but it's in the director's cut!
SESSHOU: Dammit!
TELES: Whatever! Get dressed or else!
SESSHOU: (folds arms) Compel me to.
TELES: (pushes back sleeves)
[CENSORED FOR EXTREMELY CREATIVE ACTS OF VIOLENCE AND LIMITED NUDITY.]
SESSHOU: (in tuxedo) That was ...unexpected.
TELES: Well it's not the Spanish Inquisition.
MONTY PYTHON CREW: (jump in) No one expects the--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
(SESSHOU melts MPC with poison dewclaw)
SESSHOU: That's poison flower claw!
(Whatever)
TELES: Jaken says that Ah-Un is ready. We must go!
(later, a church with an aisle and flowers)
INUYASHA: (whisper) Miroku, how come you're getting married in a modern Western tradition? It's 1582; they don't even do it this way in the West yet!
MIROKU: It's a fanstory; what do you expect? Still, that "bachelor party" thing was fun. Thanks for throwing it for me.
INUYASHA: Yeah. Kagome said that it was supposed to be the groom's last night of wild revelry before he became a married man, so I made sure that we had lots of herbal tea and rented all three original Hot Fuzz!
MIROKU: It was so much fun!
HOJO: Uh... You know that's not what people traditionally do at bachelor parties. They usually--
INUYASHA: (slugs Hojo)
HOJO: (falls over)
INUYASHA: Sorry to make your guest bleed on your wedding day, man. I think he was trying to say something, too.
MIROKU: It probably wasn't important. He should be conscious again by the time he needs to help with the reception.
INUYASHA: Who told you to get an entire roast pig? That's genius!
SESSHOU: (in pew) This Sesshoumaru's shirt itches. I want to go home.
TELES: Shut up! Here she comes!
RIN: (walks down the aisle strewing flowers)
TELES: She looks so pretty!
SESSHOU: Now just to be sure, she doesn't have to marry the monk, right?
KAGOME and SHIORI: (walk toward altar as bridesmaids)
SESSHOU: Four?! This Western tradition is moronic. I can barely handle one female!
TELES: (hits him)
SANGO: (enters in wedding dress)
CROWD: Oooooooooooooooooh.
SANGO: (walks down aisle)
CROWD: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
NIAMH: (in formalwear) This is going to be so much better when I write it.
ITHIL: (in stupid Church hat) No pressure or anything.
BRONTE: (bites Ithil)
ITHIL: Ow!
In addition, I have finally landed an apartment so that I will soon not have to spend three hours in the car on a daily basis.
Why do tomorrow what you could never do? How she loved you.
PRIEST: "Forsaking all others."
MIROKU: . . .
SANGO: (glares)
MIROKU: Riiiiight... About that... What's the--
PRIEST: The penalty for breaking your sacred oath? Well, the different traditions say different things. Most Protestants say you'd burn in hell. Catholics say you burn in Purgatory.
MIROKU: Purgatory, now what's that like?
SANGO: Miroku!!
MIROKU: Maybe later! Yeah. "Forsaking all others," I do!
PRIEST: Great. Then by the power vested in me by poetic license--
SANGO: About time!
MIROKU: I'm sorry, honey.
PRIEST: --I now pronounce you married already.
(later)
INUYASHA: (holding champagne glass that Kagome's filled with ginger ale because she's not taking any chances) Er... WhaddoIdo?
KAGOME: You give the toast!
INUYASHA: But I don't have any toast and if I did I'd eat it myself.
KAGOME: Just say something nice about Miroku and Sango. Then you drink and sit down.
INUYASHA: Right. (louder) Everyone! These guys once dug six shikon fragments out of a puke demon's ass so that I wouldn't have to. (chugs) How's that?
KAGOME: Whatever. (stands up) When I first met Miroku, I thought he was a perverted monk who could never fall in love even if it hit him over the head with an oversized boomerang until he had three cranial fractures and a permanent facial tick--
MIROKU: (twitches)
KAGOME: --but I was wrong! Miroku and Sango blah blah blah.
INUYASHA: (low voice) How long is she going to be at this? I want to eat something!
SHIPPO: Inuyasha, that's why Kagome made us eat ramen before the ceremony! You're hungry again already?
INUYASHA: YES!!
(at another table)
TELES: (to Sesshoumaru) I just checked with the babysitter. She says that Kentaro has chewed up five teddy bears, destroyed his crib and terrified the other children.
SESSHOU: That's my boy.
TELES: I'm serious. We may need to pay for the damages and the exchange rate with the modern jidai isn't good right now.
(across the room)
KOHAKU: And I know they'll be happy! (sips and sits down)
INUYASHA: Great! Let's eat!
HOJO: (stands up) I'd like to say a few words.
INUYASHA: Dammit!
MIROKU: Go ahead, Hojo. Sango and I will be doing some very interesting things later, so I'm feeling rather benevolent right now. (hand gropes)
SANGO: (hits him)
MIROKU: What? We're married! I'm allowed now.
SANGO: Not in public, pervert!
MIROKU: I don't remember that being part of the deal.
HOJO: ANYway. Hello, everyone, I'm the reincarnation of Miroku's mentor, Mushin. Ordinarily Miroku's parents would be giving this part of the toast, but they couldn't be here today on account of his dad being consumed by an inexorable demonic curse and his mom being a random truck stop harlot from Edo who couldn't get off work.
MIROKU: (chokes) Whaaaaaaaat?
HOJO: Oh, God, I'm sorry, man. I thought you already kn--
INUYASHA: (slugs him)
HOJO: (keels over)
MIROKU: Thanks, Inuyasha.
INUYASHA: You're welcome. Can we eat now?
(later)
KOHAKU: (dances with Rin)
TELES: (sighs) They grow up so fast. How long before our little Kentaro is thanking his best man for punching someone out at his wedding toast?
SESSHOUMARU: Hopefully time immemorial.
Someday soon it'll all come out: how you dreamed about each other sometimes.
TELES: Thank you, Inuyasha.
SESSHOU: . . .
TELES: (elbows him)
SESSHOU: Thank you, Inuyasha.
INUYASHA: You think this is cool? You should see me do asset allocation! I love being a financial near-genius! (waves at Niamh)
NIAMH: (waves back)
DARWIN: (runs by with stupid hat)
ITHIL: (runs by) Give me back my stupid hat!
INUYASHA: This is way better than that chick who made me a Broadway dancer. And while being a detective was kind of fun, don't get me started on that theater management bit.
KAGOME: (slings arm around Inuyasha's shoulder) Having fun?
INUYASHA: (sniffs) Why does your ginger ale smell different from mine?
KAGOME: Hee hee! You know, Inuyasha, there is a superstition that it's good luck for the maid of honor and the best man to do a certain something before the bride and groom leave the reception...
INUYASHA: (ears perk up) Really?
(later, in the driveway)
KAGOME: Be sure to get under the seats!
INUYASHA: (vaccuuming the limo) This is not what I had in mind.
SHIPPO: HerearesomemoreemptycansKagome!!
KAGOME: (tying cans to the bumper) Shippo, you didn't drink all the soda yourself, did you?
SHIPPO: NowhywouldIdothatokaymaybeyehEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!
INUYASHA: (sighs)
SHIPPO: (zooms around) (gnaws Inuyasha's head)
Re: Someday soon it'll all come out: how you dreamed about each other sometimes.
Re: Someday soon it'll all come out: how you dreamed about each other sometimes.
don't lose your way
with each passing day
you've come so far
don't throw it away
live believing
dreams are for weaving
wonders are waiting to start
live your story
faith, hope, and glory
hold to the truth in your heart
if we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
dreams see us through to forever
where clouds roll by
for you and I
souls in the wind
must learn how to bend
seek out a star
hold on to the end
valley, mountain
there is a fountain
washes our tears all away
words are swaying
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Poor bastard got KO'd by a girl. On the intarwebz no less.
someone is praying
please let us come home to stay
Re: please let us come home to stay
Re: please let us come home to stay
[salutes]
Re: please let us come home to stay
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Prof: One thing to remember is that America was under constant threat from other nations. Not just England. Canada was -
My table: *bursts out laughing*
Prof: Well they were French at the time!
A couple of weeks ago...
Prof: Language is inherent in everything. No one would buy rap if some white guy with a Boston accent was singing it.
Classmate: That depends on how many crimes he commits!
Prof: True...okay, so he's an anonymous guy who talks like JFK. No one would buy that record because it doesn't reach the desired audience.
Me: Well, no, if he's a Kennedy it would still work.
I know it probably sounds like this class is dumb, but it's just fun and we get on weird tangents.
Hope that had a good laugh for you. Giggle a little and keep up hope!
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Thanks. This did give me a good chuckle. ♥