pets, keys, and cards

[wordinista]

Dear Sydney,

Please do not decide that, yes, you actually really do have to potty AFTER we've come in from outside.  We were out there walking around for a good 20 minutes and you weren't remotely interested in relieving yourself then.  Pacing arond the house and panting does not make me sympathetic to your plight.

Love and Kisses,
Mamadog

***

Dear Keys,

Ha ha, the joke's over.  Time to come out of hiding.  Really.  Show yourselves, pronto.

No love,
Bunneh

***

Dear Florida,

Humidity is so five minutes ago.  Autumn is the new black.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CHANGE YOUR SEASONS.  I'M DYING HERE.

NO LOVE,
Sweatybunneh

***

Dear F-List,

I have a sympathy card here, which I will need to sign and send out sometime today.  Any suggestions on what an appropriate message might be what I could include inside?  (It's for my aunt in-law -- her father passed away last week.)  Everything I'm coming up with feels incredibly trite and cheesy.

Love and Kisses,
Bunneh

***

Dear Keys,

NO, REALLY.  SHOW YOURSELVES, YOU JINGLY LITTLE BITCHWAFFLES.  I AM TIRED OF LOOKING FOR YOU. 

SCREW OFF,
Bunneh