wordinista | (no subject)

Fnarr.

Why am I in such a bad mood today?

Okay, headache aside...
And ignoring the fact that Bronte vomited four times during the round-trip to the vet's office...
Add to that a whole lot of internal frustration and self-directed anger... (Wangsty stuff, trust me -- desire for tea-shop means having to live in this area longer than I want, but given my lack of success in getting into a PhD program, professional choices feel like they're getting further and further away from me.)
Skipping over the revelation that, thanks to recent gas prices, we may not be able to go to DC at the end of September...
Our automatic once-every-three-months domain payment hit us at the worst possible moment...
And I'm cleaning the house.

*sigh*

...I suspect, also, that there's PMS'ness going on here, too.

But at least I haven't been getting any angry emails. Most everyone who's written me has said they understand my reasons, and while they're sad to see it go, they agree it's not the same site it used to be. I do suspect that I'm not getting any letters full of righteous indignation because (a) hardly anyone read the admin email I sent, and (b) a majority of people who visit the site skip over the front page entirely, going straight to the forums. So... yeah. October 27 is going to be an interesting day.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*hugs* I suspect it's something in the air or water. I'm also having a semi-crappy day, starting off with the bird biting the piss out of Ben (the boyfriend) for what seemed to be no good reason at all.

When I started up my tiny little website, I was totally sure that I wanted to keep it as a small personal site that folks could read and poke through if they felt so inclined. I had some other ideas, and communities can be really great, but they're a lot of time and work and full of more drama than I can deal with on a regular basis. So, that's the background behind my tiny little site (sans any feedback areas) in a nutshell.

I feel your pain on the PhD thing. I never bothered with applying to any programs once I finished the MA program. I was burnt out and really and tired of living in general isolation in Massachusetts. I also wasn't looking forward to crash-course French, German, Japanese, and Classical Chinese after 6 years of a full course load and near full-time work AND more debt and a high probability of finding no work in the field. I just had to say no. /ramble

Yeah -- it really was meant to be one thing, and sort of turned into another, and for a while it was really cool, but then I realized that few of the conversations interested me, and the forum that got the most action was "Plagiarism Watchtower," and, you know, that's just not cool. It had turned into... just about every other forum out there.

That said, I do like having something to tend to, so there may well be "something else" in the future. Teh boi has a few ideas, and I daresay they're not bad ideas. And we'll have a dedicated server, so that nixes the cost of having a host.

As for the PhD thing... the sad thing is, I don't even know WHY I want one anymore. Just that I want one. Once I realized the heavy emphasis on publishing in the university world, I got turned off of university teaching. I prefer to interact with the students and exchange ideas that way. The push for scholarship and research... kind of annoys me, because it's like the universities are losing sight of why they're there in the first place. I could probably get a pretty sweet position at a high-end prep school with a PhD, but ... I don't know.

Speaking of high-end prep schools, I'm sending out another huge batch of CV's to a slew of schools in the Mid-Atlantic area. So we'll see if anything comes of that. Most schools don't even think about hiring until Feb or March, but at least this way I'll feel like I'm DOING something. I may even look for non-academic jobs in the DC area. (I was in DC for grad school and have been looking for opportunities to go back.)

Yeah, in general I say that if you want to go through with a PhD, it should be for you (on a personal level) or because you have a real plan to use it, and never because it's the thing to do or the thing to have to make you look smart or better. I know a few folks who wanted to get an MA for the latter reason, and it bugged me to no end.

I enjoyed teaching for 3 years at the college I work for, which was a junior/vo-tech college at the time (and we still are given the mindset of this place). You're right though; at a real college or university, it's sadly the case that there's more importance place on publishing and notoriety than anything else. To that end, I said "No thanks." But, that's just me. I don't want to end up hating the study of religion, if you know what I mean.

Fnarr, indeed.

*hugs*

I wish I had anything constructive to say but...yeah, not much you can say to any of that. I'll be around during the day and it doesn't look like I'll be too busy if you wish someone to commiserate with, though.

*hugs*

Heh, yeah. Though I am feeling better. The headache went away (either due to Tylenol or due to the fact that I made my lazy ass work out), and the house is clean, and... well, I don't plan on bringing Bronte anywhere else anytime soon, and George is saying now that maybe we can still take the trip, only make it shorter -- like four days instead of a full week.

I say I'll take what I can get. :D

I did find some interesting B&B's located smack dab in the middle of Old Town, with rates that are... really too good to be true. I've got to do a bit more research, but we may end up going with a B&B instead of a hotel. (Only thing is, George haaates B&B's. He thinks they're creepy. I don't know why. But I may appeal to him with the drastic difference in price.)

*nodnods* Glad your mood has improved at any rate.

The shortened trip sounds like a good compromise, as does the B&B option. I've only stayed in one once, myself and while I didn't find it creepy, it was kind of an odd experience. (Of course, the entire trip was really odd, but that's another story for another time...)

The invitation to hang out online still stands though, as the only project I'm working on is in review today and I am correspondingly bored. ;-)

I know it hurt to go through that one round of PhD applications, but I really think you should give it another go. I don't want to sound like the happy-go-lucky friend who's all "hang in there, champ!" but, really - you *love* literature, I can't imagine you not pursuing something related to that; whether that something is either a PhD program, a position at a prep school, or a position at a better university. And I want to tell you to follow your dream of opening a tea shop as well, not only because I think it's a very neat idea, but you should do what feels right. Do what your heart desires. It's probably not very helpful to say that right now when your heart feels so indecisive and you have so many doubts and worries about things, but I know you will find niche, and believe me, there are lots of people who will support you and be with you every step of the way. And don't be afraid to give yourself those days to feel like a grump and vent! :)

I've come to the conclusion that kitties and cars don't mix. Kiko is actually fine in the car, but then again she seems to think she's a dog. Speaking of which, dogs and cars mix very well and giving Wendy a car ride is equivalent to giving her a valium with a shot of whiskey - instant sleep.

*hugs Niamh* I hope you feel better.
I understand why you're letting the site go. I wish you didn't need to, but yeah, the fandom's changed a lot and so have the people in it. I only wish I had joined sooner. In any event, let me know if you go the FURUBA route. Oh, and you said Kat might need help? Do you know if that still stands?

Oh, trust me -- LJ is the best place to look if/when a new something goes up. ;)

Ummm... I don't know if Kat needs help, but you could probably send her a PM and volunteer your services if you like.