Kitties. Who needs cable?

Okay, so I was chatting with tatertott a while back, and explaining to her the comedy act that is Bronte and Kisa. See, as the girls grow up a bit, a few things become abundantly clear.

Bronte will not be satisfied until she has taken over the world... or learned to open the refrigerator door herself (whichever comes first, I suppose).

And Kisa? Well, let's say this. It's a good thing she's cute and sweet, because, lord, she's dumber than a bag of hammers.

It was tatertott who first brought up the Pinky and the Brain reference, and ever since then, I haven't been able to get it out of my head. Here's a snippet of that conversation.

( One is a genius, the other's insane... )

It's gotten to the point where I think Bronte sends Kisa out as a scout to check out situations that are potentially hazardous to kitties. See, today I figured out a way to make my printer fit on my desk (harder than you'd think, what with the ginormous inbox, speakers, USB hub, scanner, FB manga, etc). However, the area underneath my desk is nice and neat, with every SINGLE cord and wire neatly tied up in zip-ties. Though this is a great idea to discourage curious kittens from playing with dangling wires, it sort of fucks me when I want to rearrange anything. In this case, I needed to relocate my subwoofer to the floor and put my printer on the low shelf (the legs of my desk look a bit like sawhorses, and have shelves at the base of the legs).

Sooooo, I got the scissors and zip-ties out, and began clipping, giving myself a little extra wire. Next thing I know, there's a Kisa right there under my desk with me, chewing on the clipped zip-ties.

Kisa gets shooed away. Kisa comes right the hell back and continues playing with the very things I've already scolded her over. I scold her and she runs away. Within seconds, she comes right back. This went on for as long as I was under the desk, futzing with wires. I whanged my head at least four times on the underneath of the desk, which did wonders for my mood as well as my patience.

Now I'm convinced that Bronte was hiding around the corner. "Okay, now go see what she's doing."

Kisa: "No, I can't -- she already yelled at me once!"

Bronte: *heaves deep sigh* "Kisa, what have I told you?"

Kisa: *wibbles* "'Never doubt teh Bronte.'"

Bronte: *nods* "So go back over there and tell me what she's doing."

Kisa: "But I don't WANT to get sprayed again! Why can't YOU go?"

Bronte: *cuffs her on the back of the head* "'Cause I'm older, silly! Now, go, or I won't share the world after I've overtaken it!"

*sigh* I love them, but today? Today they drove. Me. CRAZY. Seriously. They were fighting each other for the honor of sleeping in my wastepaper basket. Actually, I think Kisa just wanted to sleep in it. I'm pretty sure Bronte wanted it as a secret base.

*howling with laughter*

OMFG. Okay. Anyone with Showtime NEEDS to check out "Bram Stoker's Burial of the Rats."

Holy shit, I'm nearly laughing myself sick here.

Apparently, from what I can tell, a young Marty Stu Bram Stoker (one with a mysteriously American accent) stumbles upon a race of vigilante women from a world where there are ONLY women.

And, apparently, in a world filled only with women, said women choose to walk around in tiny bikinis made of fur or possibly leather. Because, you know, if we overpowered all the men, the first thing we'd all do is snap on a pair of thongs. Screw the fuzzy slippers and pajama pants -- I want an underwire push-up bra in black leather!!

Okay, so Bram, who, by the way, is surrounded by half naked women, and is having tits and ass THROWN AT HIM -- but all he wants to do is write. Yeah, okay. When "writing" becomes a euphemism for either having sex or masturbation, I'll believe that.

Huh. Where was I? Oh, right. So, Bram brings the bikini-clad vigilantes back with him to... uh, either Ireland or England (hard to tell, as everyone sounded American). They then appear to storm a bordello, freeing all the women within. Outside there are bikini clad women kicking soldiers' asses in some pretty laughable swordplay (I swear to all that's holy I saw one of the chicks "stab" a guy in the side, where he held the prop in place with his arm).

And then... uh... I guess Bram... rescues his True Love from the Evil Bordello (tm)? And... brings her back to the land of the Scantily Clad Vigilante Women? I think?

And, for some reason, rats started infesting the bordello. I dunno. Maybe Willard Stiles was knocking about somewhere.