Migraine, Grampa, and Hollywood douchery

[wordinista]

It looks like my Wednesday is going to start out with a migraine. AWESOME.  I am taking measures to cut it off before it progresses, but that hardly ever works so mostly I'm sitting here until I finish my tea.

Mom took Gramps to the neurologist yesterday, and the news is... not so good.  His MRI showed significant shrinkage in the frontal lobes since his last MRI, which was a year ago August.  The neurologist has since diagnosed him with mid-stage fronto-temporal dementia, which, apparently, is the worst kind of dementia to be diagnosed with.  It doesn't affect memory quite as much as other types of dementia, but rather affecting personality and behavior.  It's progressive, and most patients, after initial diagnosis, have about a 2 year life expectancy.  The neurologist thinks he's had this since last August.  Mom is... understandably upset.  I don't think I've really let it sink in yet.  I sort of don't want to.

I almost didn't go to agility last night, because this news had left us... kind of out of sorts, but in the end I went and had a really good time.  I talked with my agility instructor, Vickie, a breast cancer survivor (who, this time last year, was bald).  She gave me a hug and talked a bit.  "Don't feel guilty for doing the things you like to do," she said.  I told her it wasn't so much guilt that made me almost skip class, but my concern that my head wouldn't be in the game, so to speak.   But... the funny thing is, I've sort of reached a point with agility where when I'm on the course and running obstacles with Darwin, I almost go to a very zen place.  (Well, this happens when we're running WELL. Not when I'm screwing up and giving miscues.)  And even though last night I was a little distracted, and definitely screwed up and gave miscues, I still left class feeling very centered.

In other news, I would like very much to rant about this Roman Polanski BS until the cows come home, because I am thoroughly OUTRAGED at how many people seem to have turned into rape apologists overnight, and am doubly outraged at the media for using what I personally believe is misleading language regarding his crime.  "Having sex with a teenager/minor" conjures a completely different picture than and is NOT the same thing as "drugging and anally raping an adolescent."  And what the shit, do Hollywood A-listers actually believe they are above the law?  HE DRUGGED AND SODOMIZED A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD, GUYS.  LIVING THE HIGH LIFE SKIPPING AROUND EUROPE FOR THIRTY ONE YEARS DOES NOT CONSTITUTE "PUNISHMENT."  HE HAS NOT PAID ANY SORT OF DEBT TO SOCIETY.  COME ON, PEOPLE.  HE IS NOT SOME SORT OF TRAGIC HERO.  HE IS A RAPIST.  SAY IT WITH ME NOW: RAY-PIST.

So, hopefully someone on my f-list will compose a lengthy and vitriolic rant about the subject, because that's about all I can muster -- this headache is looking like I'm going to be out of commission for the rest of the morning.

Comments

[katmaxwell.livejournal.com]

I hope your migraine goes away with little damage left. ♥ And augh, I'm sorry about your granddad. I'll keep him and your family in my thoughts.

And thirdly, this article (http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2009/09/28/polanski_arrest/) is a fantastic of summation of why apologists are idiots.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Thank you, honey. ♥

Also, that article was a glorious thing of gloriousness. I READ IT TWICE. And actually wanted it to go on longer.

"There is evidence -- albeit purely anecdotal, in this case -- that only the most debased crapweasel thinks "I didn't know she was 13!" is a reasonable excuse for raping a child, much less continuing to rape her after she's said no repeatedly."

Yes. So very much YES.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

Kate Harding rocks my socks.

[darkfrog24.livejournal.com]

I'm with the instructor on this one. Keep up the regular activities. Get your zen on. Your grandfather being sick is important, but it is not the only thing going on in your life and you should be allowed to think that way.

Crud and a half, people are trying to make it sound like the kid consented? Just because she says the memory doesn't bother her anymore or whatever doesn't mean that she consented!

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

Well, I wouldn't give up agility altogether -- last night I was just... in kind of a bad place, mentally. But I'm glad I went, and I may even go to the course for more training, because it's just really head-clearing, and I'm totally loving it.

As for Polanski -- I've seen everything from "Well, her MOTHER said it was all right!" (not true, according to the testimony) to "He's 76 years old and has been on the run for 32 years, and he's a great film-maker and a swell guy. Let's just forget all about it!" (he owns MULTIPLE HOMES IN EUROPE -- I suspect he wasn't suffering too much) to "Well, the VICTIM said she wants to drop the whole thing!" and so on. The court testimony states clearly that she said "No" before, during, and after the event.

[darkfrog24.livejournal.com]

Never mind that the incident happened in the 1970's, when society was a bit softer on criminals and more likely to believe their stories of seductive, trampy pre-teens. If Polanski had remained in California, he would have done what? Fifteen years max? And then he'd have spent the past seventeen years making films and traveling to whatever countries he wanted.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

Disgustingly, the original plea bargain was for time served in the psychiatric facility, which came out, I believe, to just over forty days. The judge was thinking about actually sending him to prison and then having him deported, and that's when he fled. I'm not sure what the maximum sentence would have been, but it's safe to say he would have been out a looooong time ago.

[ankoku-jin.livejournal.com]

There's not much I can add to the well wishes of others, except my own well wishes. *hugs* Better to do the things you love and let your mind process events in its own than sit around waiting for it to hit you. :(

As for Polanski... I haven't the energy to rant at length as I would like to, but for me it boils down to the fact that this man got away with drugging and raping a child because he's white, talented, famous and rich. Yes, I'm sure he was in a bad space because of the Tate murder. Yes, he made some great films in his time on the run. Yes, he's in his 70s now. None of that changes the fact that he needs to face justice for what he did to that girl.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

I think the part that has me so very disgusted is how so many people seem to be falling back on the old "she was asking for it" argument. At 13 years of age, she'd been drunk before, she'd tried quaaludes once when she "was real little," and she wasn't a virgin. SO CLEARLY all of this excuses Polanski, really, because she was just a Lolita slut anyway. And I just want to bang my head against something (which I will not do, because while yesterday's headache is gone, today things in my head still hurt) because none of this eradicates the fact that NO. MEANS. NO. And I am so very thoroughly disgusted with how many WOMEN have taken this douchenozzle's side.

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. I'm sorry. *hugs* I'm thinking of you, and your mom. And your granpa.

♥♥♥♥♥

[everstar3.livejournal.com]

And now, that said.

OH MY GOD, THE POLANSKI THING. SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP. YOU PLED GUILTY.

And what the fuck? "He's suffered so much for the past thirty years, having to live in the south of France! He couldn't even come back and get his Oscar!" To quote Jon Stewart, "No. Shut up. No." He committed a crime, to which he pled guilty, the judge rejected the sentencing suggestion -- as was within his right, I believe! -- and he couldn't take it so he fled the country.

I know people are all, "Oh, but he's an artist, he's made brilliant films." You know what? I don't fucking care if he made films so brilliant all the celluloid on the planet spontaneously combusted and another film was never made because his were simply les ne plus ultras. HE'S A RAPIST. A RAPIST WHO PLED GUILTY AND THEN FLED THE JURISDICTION BECAUSE HE COULDN'T FACE THE CONSEQUENCES. And I like Chinatown.*

And now I must go buy a copy of Dogma because Kevin Smith gets it.


*Although knowing about Polanski's predilection for teenage girls makes the scene where Gittes asks Mrs. Mulwray if she was raped by her dad and she shakes her head "no" that much freakier.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

I need to grab the Jon Stewart thing off Hulu. He's past my bedtime these days. ;)

Yeah, I don't even know, dude. Being an artist, no matter how gifted, does not de facto forgive you any and all transgressions.

What's been interesting to watch about all of this is how this seems to be the one thing that the left and right-wing blogospheres seem to be able to agree on without condition. Sure, you get the odd nutball or two in the comments who think that it's been so long since it happened that we should just drop it already, but for the most part, people on both sides of the fence are disgusted and outraged.

And then you have Hollywood. Oy. Not all of them, of course, but Kevin Smith is one voice on a sadly short list.

I think this whole thing illustrates an interesting picture on the question of class and power in society. I keep looking over to my bookshelf and I'm like, "Yep, The Monk, Caleb Williams, The Red and the Black, and damn near everything Dickens wrote about." The corruption of those in positions of wealth and power, their depravities, and their belief that aforementioned wealth and power should protect them from the repercussions of those depravities.

...Or something.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

You know, we all knew he was acting strangely, and inappropriately, but we all thought it had more to do with side effects of the drugs he's been on. Mom put the call out the other day to her brothers and sisters to get their asses down here while he is still remotely in his right mind.

[tatertott.livejournal.com]

Migraines are the suck, that's for sure.

Listen to your agility instructor - I'm sure she has a plethora of advice to give you, since she's probably been in the deepest darkest places because of cancer. She sounds like a very awesome role model.

The only thing I'll say about the whole Polanski thing is that his victim has come out against having everything rehashed - she essentially feels she been violated repeatedly over the years because the story won't die. Now, does that mean I sympathize with Polanski? No, I wholeheartedly feel he needs to serve his time. I just wish it could happen in a way that didn't victimize the victim all over again.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

I can totally see that rationale, and I understand that she doesn't want the media attention on her or her family. That said, the story won't ever die as long as he evades the legal system. But she doesn't want any attention, and I do not blame her one single bit. (It'd be nice if she could go into the witness protection program, if just as long as it takes for this trial to play out. Protect her and her family from the vultures of the media who are probably on Polanski's side anyway, and will go out of their way to demonize her thirty-odd years later.)

[rya-kelley.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandpa. That's a rough diagnosis for the patient and the family.