The bad: I have a case study due tomorrow night, a research paper due next week, and an exam the week after that.
The AUGH: All of the articles I compiled for my research paper just got LOST because my stupid library session timed out.
I leave for NH a week from tomorrow, and still do not have shoes for my dress. ON THE UPSIDE, I now have a dress that FITS.
And that is all. NOW IT'S NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE TIME.
I had a nice little visit with Mom this morning -- actually, Mom accompanied me on my dog walk this morning. For a little while, at least -- I have to walk pretty briskly with the puppers, and at one point, she was like, "Just go on ahead and I'll catch you when you come back." She's so cute. So I got a shower when I got back and then went over to have coffee with her and talk about Stuff and Things. We had thought she'd be able to take in the bridesmaid dress, but after looking at the dress, she's saying I ought to take it to a dress shop, just to be on the safe side. Hopefully a month is long enough to get alterations done. *crosses fingers* (She too was shocked at how huge the dress was on me.)
I didn't get any writing done yesterday (and I forgot that I wanted to wash the dogs today, d'oh -- I like to do that before my shower, because I work up a sweat wrestling with Sydney), so I'm going to make the oatmeal cookies of yesterday's to-do list, and then hunker down and get my 500 words done.
Also, going back through my old LJ entries has brought to mind a lot of awesome memes that haven't gone around a lot recently. I'm thinking about pulling a few of them out of mothballs, since I have a lot of different people on my flist lately, and that would make for a whole different round of madness and replies. WE SHALL SEE.
One of the sprinklers in the front yard is broken, and so now we have a lovely dead patch on the lawn, and the woman our landlord gets to "fix" the sprinkler system is puttering around outside, which means several things for me:
1. She will turn on the sprinkler system in the middle of the afternoon, and never come back to turn it off. Which means that the yard will be a muddy mess, because she does not tell me (a) that she's turning on the sprinklers or (b) how long I should let them run. Nor does she seem to realize that running the sprinklers in the middle of the day actually contributes to burnt grass. Sigh.
2. Anytime I try to let the dogs out for potty, we will all get soaking wet. Double sigh.
3. Darwin and Sydney will run to the window and bark like the hounds of HELL because there's someone in our yard. Triple sigh with a side of headache.
It was... let's see... about an hour, ten minutes there, taking all the major highways/toll roads, and about an hour, thirty minutes back, taking the county roads. If we moved further north (which we've been talking about), then I'd probably be looking at a 45 minute commute, which... is tolerable. There are, of course, complications with this, since the place we take the dogs for doggy-daycare is near where we are NOW, and it's such a great place that I'd hate to bring the dogs anywhere else. Also... my schedule would be... weird. Just... weird. So I'm kind of ambivalent regarding that.
Frankly, the pay would have to make the commute/gas/tolls/weirdness of schedule worthwhile. It seems like a great job and a great school with great opportunities, but... it may not be my cuppa. We'll have to see.
Today, we went to the comic book shop as part of my birthday weekend celebration... thing. So, there we were, in our local CBS, browsing and flipping through issues and pointing things out to each other, and... well, okay -- our local CBS is a place I usually frequent during the week, if I'm going to pick something up for Tora over the weekend or whatever. And it's usually dead, and I usually end up chatting with whoever's behind the counter for a while. When I go, I consider it to be a very girl-friendly kind of place. But, also, it's usually pretty dead. Today when we went, it was kind of packed. With, you know. Guys.
Soooo, we go in, and I am completely oblivious to the fact that I am the only female in the entire store, but I'm poking around looking for things, and generally enjoying myself. Then, with several BtVS issues I'd been missing and The Long Halloween, I went up to the counter to pay. There was a cluster of about four guys hanging out, talking with the dude behind the counter, mostly talking about RPG stuff. And... okay, they were pretty standard comic geeks. And they, like nice guys, moved out of the way so I could give the nice man my money and we left.
The following conversation occurred on the way back to the car:
George: "Man, you are like nerd Kryptonite."
George: "Did you not see those guys? You walked up, and they parted like the Red Sea!"
Me: "I guess that would be the power of boobs, huh?"
George: "Seriously. They did not know what to do. A REAL GIRL. RIGHT THERE."
Me: "The Keeper of the Estrogen has infiltrated our sanctuary!!"
George: "What do we do?! ROLL THE DICE! ROLL THE DICE! THE DICE WILL TELL US!"
Me: "She seems to be friendly to the manly one. Perhaps he can reason with her!"
George: "I thought one of 'em was going to come up to me and say, 'You permit the fairer sex to handle our sacred tomes! How could you!?'"
Me: "...I was the only girl in there?"
George: "I'm pretty sure. And they scattered when you walked up."
Me: "That's awesome."
Okay, let's be real: I kinda hate it. All the time. Always. There is not one single aspect I like about it, other than the "getting paid" part.
So, I poked around on Monster, and found a faculty position at a school over in Winter Park. Looks... pretty much tailor-made for me, and I sent my resume off, even though Winter Park is, like, over an hour away. So, assuming I get an interview, and assuming they consider me, and assuming A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER STUFF, the money would have to be worth the gas and tolls it would take to get there.
Anyway, I'm over at Mom's house, giving her the inventory sheets I was working on, and she mentioned... something. I don't even remember how it came up, but I wound up telling her about the job.
I really should know better than to do stupid things like that. Because I got hit with everything from "The tolls will be very expensive!" to "You'll need to get a new car!" to "But what about the gas money?" to "What are you going to do with the dogs?" to "Are you sure you'll be able to handle an 8 hour day with that kind of commute?" --Like ALL OF THOSE THINGS haven't crossed my mind already. I don't know anything about the job, other than the fact that it's a faculty position in the English department for this school. It requires a Masters Degree, and there's a hint of administrative stuff that will likely go along with the teaching stuff. I don't know what the schedule would be, I don't know what the pay would be, and I don't know whether the job would be worth taking SHOULD THEY OFFER IT TO ME.
I hate it when she does that. Hate. It. Because I swear she does it just because she likes getting the extra help with the grunt work, without thinking, Hey, maybe my daughter would like to do something remotely related to her degree that she spent an extra two years getting. She KNOWS I've been feeling really down about not doing work related to my degree, and that I've been feeling like getting my graduate degree was an utter waste of time if I'm basically going to end up being a stay-at-home mom to two dogs. And it drives me CRAZY when I preface something with, "I have no idea the details of the job, but here it is..." and then she hits me with a barrage of questions about it.
As much as I would love to camp out on the couch with tea and books and knitting and movies, however, that's also not an option. I'm going to start on my NYR wherein I told myself I would work on original fiction for at least two hours a day. Also, I'm going to work on an application to submit to Engadget, so we'll see how that goes.
Tora and I are going to start walking the doggies first thing in the am -- like 6:30 am -- which ... should be... fun? And then I'll walk them in the afternoons. I've been taking them for walks together, and it hasn't been too much of a headache, except for when Darwin gets it into his head that he wants to wrestle with Sydney WHILE WE'RE WALKING.
I have been catching up on my sleep lately, and no longer feel like complete ass, which is such a relief.
Also? I have managed to keep a houseplant alive for a whole month now. This is big stuff, believe me. I have the brownest of the brown thumbs, and this thing is STILL ALIVE.
I think I may have to break down and see a doctor about my hand. I was pretty certain what was wrong with my index finger was the beginning stirrings of arthritis, but I want to make sure, because if it isn't, and there's something I can do about this, I really want to do it. Because I hate the fact that holding a pen to sign my name can actually hurt. WTF.
Point #1: Fatty fat fat. She seems to have a hard time breathing, even when she's NOT doing the stressed-out panting. It's like a labored sort of breathing, which I think is weight-related.
Point #2: OMG no manners. Does not seem to know basic commands (or only knows them when food is involved), and also does not seem to understand the word "no" or anything remotely related to "stop." When she wouldn't do a sit, for me, I put my hand on her butt to guide her down, and she fought me. I ended up having to force her into a sit. Repeatedly.
Point #3: She is the beggiest beggar I have ever, ever seen. I think I know how she got to be so overweight. Seriously, she tried PUSHING her way past me to my plate last night. We had a little talk about that.
Point #4: She wants to play with Darwin. All. The. Time. Does not know when to quit! Darwin apparently has the patience of of a saint, because it was hours before he even raised his lip at her.
Point #5: She has a little cough. She got a kennel-cough vacc. at the shelter, but I think she caught a little cold anyway. (Makes sense, since kennel-cough vacc. are kinda hit or miss.)
Point #6: The shelter gave her a dose of Frontline, but she's still an itchy girl. And when she scratches, little tumbleweeds fall off. She's totally going to get brushed today. She has an appointment with the groomer on Friday.
Now the good things!
#1: She is not fearful. Not of me, not of George, not of Darwin, not of the vacuum cleaner, not of bicycles. Curious, yes. Fearful, no. This is a big plus, because I think it'd be the hardest thing to overcome.
#2: Is sweet, sweet, sweet. Sweeeeeet temperament. Also, my hubby is the apple of her eye.
...I realize that seems like a very short list, but I think those are very important things, while the problem-list is solvable.
We got up extra-early to take both kids for a walk this morning, and then fed them when we got back. Darwin seems to know this means it's "rest" time, but Sydney is walking around a lot still, sniffing things and... getting stuck underneath the futon. I gave them a couple of bones, and ... no resource guarding (which is to say, no "DON'T TOUCH MY BONE" bitching), which is good. I do kind of wish she'd settle down a little, but I imagine that'll be a long time coming. She settles down, but only for a few seconds. And right now she's barking at... something underneath the futon here in the office. I don't even know what.
The biggest problem we seem to be having is this: Every time one of us corrects Sydney, Darwin seems to think we're correcting him, and he's such a sensitive dog, he kind of slinks off into a corner and curls up like we've just scolded HIM. You seriously cannot raise your voice in this house, because he'll lower his head like, "Oh, crap what did I do?" So when I scolded Sydney for... anything, Darwin reacted to it, and it broke my heart to see him slink away from me (especially when he hadn't done anything wrong!).
The crate situation went... okay last night. For a long while now, Darwin has had the freedom of sleeping with the crate door open (sometimes, during the night, he'll go from crate to doggy-bed, back to the crate), and he did NOT like having the door closed last night. Not at all. Sydney whimpered a little periodically during the night, but I told George not to respond or feed into it, and she eventually stopped. Her heavy breathing also got better when he set up a box fan by the crate (we figured all that extra weight makes her extra hot). Neither of us slept very well. I don't think Darwin did either, since every time I woke up, HE was awake and looking at me like, "How COULD you?"
I'm a little worried I've bitten off more than I can chew. She's only a year and a half, and I can't remember if that falls into the "terrible twos" category or not. I'm trying to remember when Darwin drove me particularly insane, but I think that was more around the year-old mark. Mom and George both are confident that I can whip her into shape.
And she just had an accident. *sigh* I don't know if it's a pee accident, or if she's marking. But if she's marking, we're going to have a serious problem here. Darwin doesn't mark, hasn't started lifting his leg, and that's one behavior I don't want him to learn. Particularly IN THE HOUSE.
I just want to go to sleep for a week and wake up and have two perfectly trained Aussies. Is that too much to ask?
Me: *is having lunch. nearly chokes self trying to swallow mouthful of sammich to answer so I don't have to hear another lecture about how I never answer my phone. (because my mother calls when I am either IN THE SHOWER or WALKING THE DOG I swear) I proceed to explain to mother that I am having lunch*
Mom: *makes clear that I can keep on lunching, and plz to continue eating*
Mom: *...proceeds to engage in conversation at me (this is pretty common for us)*
Mom: *asks me questions that require an actual answer composed of words rather than thoughtful silence*
Me: *is eating. MOUTH IS FULL. thoughtful silence is all she gets until I manage to swallow another mouthful of sammich.*
Also, if you have a holiday card post somewhere on your LJ, CAN YOU PLEASE LINK ME TO IT?
Additionally, if you haven't hit me up for a holiday card PLEASE DO SO HERE.
My last class is tomorrow night, which is good. I have not yet finished my project, which is less good.
Tora may not be getting a Christmas bonus, which is bad. (Very bad, holy shit.)
And Bronte has had three accidents in as many days (which is v. v. bad and also unpleasant).
However, I'm not sick, which is an improvement over last year.
I'm also giving serious consideration to teaching for the college again. I'm trying to talk myself out of it, but I kind of miss doing something that feels worthwhile, even though I did bitch a LOT about the rampant idiocy. I... don't know. The job caused me a lot of stress towards the end there, but that had a lot to do with other things going on at the time. I enjoyed teaching, and it's something I'm good at.
I also feel utterly detached from just about any sort of fandom these days. I want to finish OGAM, if only because I ... need to finish it. I don't like the idea of leaving something that huge left unfinished. But writing in general has been difficult. If I write at all, I try to focus the efforts on original fic. It's like... the OGAM-verse used to be a lot more vivid in my head, and it just... isn't anymore. I may just try to make the next chapter the last chapter, because... it very well could be -- it'd just mean cutting a lot of extra frou-frou bits. I don't know. I... kind of need to make myself give a damn again.
The same goes for BitR -- ever since Takaya ended the series, I have had zero urge to work on the story, because I hated her ending so very much. I dunno, might just yank that one -- or figure out how to make it shorter.
So! Going to walk Darwin, work on my project, and pick out a couple of things to read in order to get myself primed to write my Yuletide story, and ... and I am going to attempt to get into SOME SEMBLANCE OF THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT because, damn, I am no fun like this.
This wasn't an easy decision to come to, but we both feel it's the right decision. She's not in any pain, she's just... weak.
The pharmacy, however, is being... you know what? There aren't words for what they're being. I've been having a devil of a time filling the cytoxin prescription Bronte needs (in addition to her Prednisone, which I can get from the vet clinic's pharmacy). Every single time I've dropped the prescription off, they've been all, "Okay! You can pick it up in two hours!" Then I go back: "We're sorry, this is out of stock. It'll be in in a few days!" I go back a few days later: "We're sorry, this is out of stock." WHAT. JUST. WHAT. WTF, PEOPLE. And it doesn't matter if they call the other Walgreens in the area -- NONE OF THEM HAVE THIS MEDICATION. I was complaining about this to Dr. Young recently, and he said the next time it happened to call the clinic and THEY'D call the pharmacy to impress upon them the importance of keeping DRUGS IN STOCK.
I have had one good cry already. Might make it two.
Please, guys. Tell me something happy. A funny story, a silly drabble, a joke, something. I need to get the positive vibes going, because I'm kind of tired of crying.
So, we graduated from our respective schools and kept in touch. We didn't talk often -- about every six months or so, but... it never mattered, because we knew we were each other's constant. Tora was very jealous of Brian when we first started dating, because I talked about him All the Time. Tora got over it.
Then, sometime in our twenties, Brian got married, like you do. And he called me less. And then not at all. But, hey, he was married and had a son and sometimes things like friendships take a back burner and that's all right, because BFFs. Then he and his wife got a divorce and I found out that she'd been jealous of our friendship -- not of me, specifically, but of the closeness that was there. I found this out today when, after a series of bizarre accidents, I called him. (Mostly I accidentally dialed him on speed dial when I had intended to call my voicemail and seconds after I hung up and ACTUALLY called voicemail, he called back, left a message, and I returned the call today.)
And then, like you do with someone you haven't talked to in over a year, you catch up.
Brian has a new fiancee, which is wonderful. His son turned five this week, which makes me boggle a little bit.
...And in March he went blind due to complications with diabetes (he's had it his whole life). Evidently he should have been seeing a retina specialist instead of his normal optometrist, and the optometrist didn't recommend a specialist, and now the doctors at the University of Miami hospital are telling him that if he'd been seeing a retina specialist, this never would have happened. He's going to be having some surgeries and they're going to restore his sight to the best of their ability. Best case scenario, he'll have 20/200 eyesight and will need corrective lenses.
I don't... know why this hurts so much. I was fine while I was on the phone with him and he vowed to call me this weekend so we can get together and I can meet the new fiancee, but the moment I got off the phone, I started crying. I mean, he was joking about it and... that's kind of just the type of person he is. But every time I think about him, my heart hurts a little. Like... if I'd been a better friend and called more often, then I could have been there for him. Or something. I don't know.
I'm just... why did something like that have to happen to him?
First, the YAY:
I finished Organizational Behavior last night and I think I did all right. First class I truly enjoyed.
My jury duty excuse was accepted. (I didn't mention it when I got the summons, but basically I got a summons for Federal Court in Orlando and would have had to drive 50 miles each way for jury duty. Yeah. Not. And especially not with the price of gas the way it is, mygod.)
My cousin and his family are visiting for the week. This makes me happy, and I'm heading over to spend time with them as soon as I finish this.
Now the BOO:
My next class is going to top me like a merciless topping thing. It's called Strategy and Management, and I have a list of assignments I have to complete before the first class. Ogod.
Tora is... having trouble with work. See, as most of you know, he works as a software developer for a startup company. However, their biggest client, an HMO, just got royally screwed by CMS (the government organization that oversees HMOs). They've essentially been shut down. No more client. This means that the company may not survive past January 2008, unless they get a slew of new clients to replace the big one. So they needed someone to do sales. No problem there, a friend of Tora's is GREAT with sales and agreed to do some work on commission. Except she just called Tora and had to back out because of health problems having to do with her elderly mother. So now Tora is telling me he may ask me to do some cold call sales and... words do not express how much that terrifies me, because I know I suck at sales, and I don't want to tell him no, because this is A DIRE SITUATION, but I kind of suspect that he really doesn't want my help, because I'm just that bad at sales.
So. Anyone know a good salesperson interested in some commission work? Because I'm at a loss.
Okay, so after a few emo entries, I'm finding that the writing bug is slowly returning. I wrote about a thousand words on UT last week, which made me very happy, and I even ironed out some plot points that had been bothering me for a while and some characterization issues. So that's GOOD.
The rooster is still at large. Not good. But I'm not going to run around trying to catch that thing. Screw that. I'll sic Darwin after it first. Hell, I may get him a retractable leash just so he can get some distance in and really scare that cock.
Mom and Gramps are going away to NH for two weeks starting tomorrow. Mom has offered to go to Trader Joe's for me (YAY!) and bring back goodies. Words do not express how much my mother rocks for doing this. (Everyone. Flood Trader Joe's with Location Request Forms begging them to put a store in Florida. Please. There may be baked goods in it for you. Locations in Brevard or Indian River County are best. Satellite Beach, Indian Harbour Beach, and Vero Beach are all communites that would LOVE a TJ's. And they're all within reasonable driving distance for me, too!)
I'm not entirely sure what TJ's is stocking these days, since it's been a few years since I last went to one, so if anyone has any recommendations for travel-friendly (i.e.: non-perishable) goodies that I might include on my wish-list, I'd appreciate it. I know the store stock varies by region, but that's okay. Also, there was a coffee that I used to get, back in the day. I don't remember the name of it, but it came in a blue canister with a bird on it (I want to say it was a toucan). DOES ANYONE KNOW IF TJ'S STILL STOCKS THIS COFFEE. Because I am going to ask for it if they do, to hell with Tora's disapproving looks. (If she could bring back refrigerated goods, the list would be so much longer. I have yet to find a pink grapefuit juice I like better than TJ's brand, and coming from someone who lives in Florida, that's pretty pathetic.)
Now, onto the ARGH section of the entry. It's not fair that this job has ME written ALL OVER IT and is over two hours away. I'm tempted to apply for it anyway, but I'd feel like an ass for turning it down if I managed to get it. But still! I COULD SO DO THAT. But... two hour commute? Holy god, kill me please. I love the job listing. I love the job listing like burning. Okay, it's a county job, BUT STILL. It's got a good starting salary, and the job listing was written by someone awesome. Of course, that salary combined with Tora's salary would mean I could afford a new vehicle that would probably make such a commute bearable. But still -- four hours of my day spent behind the wheel of a car (particularly given gas prices today) =/= awesome. I dunno. What do you guys think? (I might work on a writing sample, and if I can write a decent sample, then maybe I'll apply just for laughs.)
I'll stick to my original plan for this week regardless, which involves buying a book (thank you for the rec, somnambulicious!) and working on a business plan for the tea shop (SBA website, here I come!). And I don't have class NEXT week, so much of next week will very likely be spent working on my various fics, original and otherwise. (Someone, please talk me out of writing a ROCKS FALL, EVERYONE DIES ending for OGAM. I'm that desperate to finish the damned thing, srsly.)
Also? Sunday? This Sunday marks one year since Tora and Bunneh said "I do." One year since a whole assload of LOLZ DRAMA that I still cannot believe happened. Also one year since we stopped talking to his parents, and if that's not worth celebrating, I don't know what is.
PS: Anyone who follows officialgaiman -- is Maddy not the best guest-blogger EVER?
PPS: I suddenly want to enter the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest and write an entry mocking my mother in-law to commemorate the anniversary.
I didn't get it.
I don't feel like talking about it. I'm mostly done crying, though the urge does still pop up, however sporadically. I'm trying to read this as the universe telling me to get on with my tea shop, but I just love teaching so much. And I'm good at it. (I'm suspecting they got someone either with more high school teaching experience, or who actually specializes in American literature, since that's what the position was for, and my specialty is British.)
So... yeah. Yesterday was not what you'd call a red-letter day.
Today, however, we're going to see Pirates, and there has been talk of going out to dinner afterward
I did, however, get an interesting and... eerily apropos horoscope this morning:
Pisces: You are emerging from a small funk. Things are looking up for you now.
I'm not sure I'd agree with the "small funk" part of it, as I've been in a funk for about two weeks now (this news just happened to be the pinnacle), but if things are going to start looking up, I'm certainly not going to complain.
EDIT: OMGWTF. PIRATES. ASDFJK; JACK. JACK. JACK. DO ME, JACK. OMG. WILL. WILL. WIIIIIILL. OMG. EVERYONE. PIRATES. ASDJFKASDJFK;LASDKJ;A
So, yeah. There is no sorrow Jack Sparrow can't soothe.